Empty Sky
by EidolonLathi
Summary: After the attack on Forge Security Tanaka feels the rift between him and Sato grow, leading his anger issues to intensify. Gen gets to experience this but tries to keep his patience until things calm down again: No point in getting upset just because someone won't stop nagging at you. But there comes a moment when even the most understanding person reaches their limit. [GenxTanaka]


_Summary: After the attack on Forge Security Tanaka feels the rift between him and Sato grow, leading his anger issues to intensify. Gen gets to experience this but tries to keep his patience until things calm down again: No point in getting upset just because someone won't stop nagging at you. But there comes a moment when even the most understanding person reaches their limit. [Gen/Tanaka]_

_Author's Notes: This fic is set in the manga verse but the way I've written Gen was heavily influenced by how the anime portrayed him. I found it an interesting choice how they decided to show his anxiety a bit clearer instead of only hinting at it as in the manga. Despite of this I still tried to find a balance._

* * *

**Empty Sky**

It took a while for Gen to notice that something had become amiss. Because at the beginning he was just glad that everyone had managed to escape from Forge Security. And then he had just been too busy moving all of their stuff together with Takahashi and Okuyama into their new hideout. The three of them were still unpacking boxes when Sato and Tanaka arrived. Tanaka. Not that Gen had understood why he had insisted on staying behind anyway. Well, probably he had just wanted to help Sato after all.

Gen realized that that had not been it once he noticed how cold Sato was suddenly treating Tanaka. Not that he was exactly unfriendly to him or anything. But it was becoming obvious that Sato was starting to keep him at a distance. Lost in thought Gen stared absentmindedly at the wrench he was holding. And that though those two had always been this close. Weird.

Okuyama's voice shook him out of his ponderings. "Gen? Gen, do you hear me? Could you give me that wrench, please?"

Startled Gen raised his eyes, looking at Okuyama who was sitting on the plastic chair next to him, gesturing at the box of explosives the two of them were working on. "Have you been lost in thought?", Okuyama asked, not quite smiling but looking warmly at Gen.

"Um, yes, sorry", Gen said, handing the desired tool over to Okuyama.

Okuyama shook his head, meanwhile slightly smiling after all. "No problem." Okuyama would do this nowadays, smiling when they spent time together. Gen liked seeing those smiles. He took it as a sign that Okuyama was feeling comfortable around him. To Gen he had always appeared like the kind of person who needed some time to get used to new people. So it was kind of nice to know that he seemed to like spending time with Gen. Especially nowadays that it had become a rare thing for Takahashi to join them when they were working on their projects.

Gen scratched the scar on his nose. "Getting those things finished takes more time now that Takahashi's rarely around, huh?"

Okuyama stopped working and looked at Gen. "Yeah, that's true. But I'm gotten used to it as you're really efficient to work with, you know."

Gen felt his face blush. "You think so? Thanks." It was the first time Okuyama had ever praised him in some way. Which felt nice, really. Especially now, when Takahashi seemed to be more and more absent and Tanaka's mood had become even more sour than it had ever been.

Okuyama smiled and continued working on their project. After some time he added. "Where is Takahashi anyway? On the move with Sato again?"

Gen felt nodded. "Ah, yeah. Apparently they have some things to finish?"

"Things to finish?"

"Well, you know, the list still isn't finished, right? Sato's saying their ghosts are an ideal match for this target."

"I see."

Okuyama shoved a strand of his bangs aside that had fallen in front of his eyes. "Lately it's usually Takahashi Sato's asking to come along with him, right?"

Of course Okuyama had noticed. If Gen noticed something Okuyama had already done so ages ago. Gen sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, totally. He always asks him to tag along if he's going out. And stuff."

Okuyama face got very serious. "Well, I guess it's no surprise. After what happened at Forge Security."

"What do you mean exactly?", Gen asked in a quiet voice, getting the gnawing feeling that all this time he had missed out some really vital information.

"You don't know? The thing that happened with that woman?", Okuyama asked, suddenly sounding surprised.

"The woman? You mean the one on the list? She somehow managed to escape, right?"

"More or less. You remember how Tanaka insisted on going back when we were escaping?"

Gen felt a hollow feeling starting to spread in his chest. "Yeah?"

"Look, it was like that: Tanaka went back to help her escape. He had started to feel sorry for her and regretted putting her on the list or something."

Gen felt his body freeze up due to shock. He couldn't say a word. He just dumbly stared at Okuyama.

Okuyama lowered his voice. "But that's still not everything. On their way out they ran into Sato. He still wanted to shoot her, I mean, that was the plan after all, right? She's on the list. But Tanaka refused to step aside. I think he even pointed his gun at Sato or something. And Sato let them go, there was no point in arguing with Tanaka at that point." Okuyama sighed, suddenly looking worried. "And there's more. He also helped that female ajin who's working together with Tosaki. Some guys caught her and called the cops on her. Like that she would have ended up at the lab as apparently Tosaki had kept it secret that she's an ajin. Tanaka helped her escape from them. Wait, you really didn't know?"

Gen shook his head, still dumbfounded by what he had just heard. It suddenly made a lot of sense that Takahashi had become more and more absent. If Gen were Sato he wouldn't feel comfortable with someone who had threatened to shoot him either.

Gen had found his speech again. "But, I just don't get it. Sato and Tanaka always were this close. Why?"

"I have no clue either."

"Fuck, that's weird. For real." Gen had to think back to when they had reached the room the president of Forge Security had supposed to be in. Shortly before they had ran into that awful trap. To be honest, due to the heavy narcotics they had been given at that time Gen's memory on those events were really foggy. He just remembered that suddenly it had become very dark. And there had been Takahashi's voice, calling Gen's name. He had sounded so desperate. If Gen tried to remember really hard he could recall the face of that woman on the list, how she had been crying. So what? She had still helped Tosaki and the others to get all of them captured. So despite of those tears she couldn't have felt too sorry.

"No one's ever showed me sympathy when I had been crying, that's for sure", Gen absentmindedly mumbled.

"Sorry, did you say something?", Okuyama asked, looking surprised.

Gen froze. Had he just said that out loud? He hadn't just said that out loud, right? Hectically he shook his head. "Um, nothing, sorry, I was just thinking."

Okuyama showed a humourless grin. "I have been thinking about this too, believe me." He laid down the wrench he was still holding, picking up a screwdriver. "And I still don't get what all of this had been about."

Gen sighed and continued working on their project too. On reflection it was a surprise the only thing Sato had done was beginning to treat Tanaka coldly. There were three ajin who currently resided in steel drums because they had opposed Sato. With a shudder Gen picked out the wrench Okuyama needed next.

They hadn't been working for very long until they got disturbed once again. Tanaka stepped into the room, dark circles under his eyes, an outstanding contrast in his pale face. Now that Gen thought about it, lately he had been looking exhausted a lot. Tanaka addressed Okuyama: "How's it going?"

"Good. We're finished with the core. The rest is mainly wiring and stuff."

"Okay."

Okuyama gestured at the wires. "But this is the trickiest part. So it will still be some time until we're finished."

Tanaka nodded. "I see. Keep it up like that." His gaze fell on Gen, who had been silent until now. "I'm still not done with the ammo we got from Nekozawa-san. The amount we got is insane. I need your help with this, Gen." Tanaka looked at Okuyama. "You can do the wiring by yourself, right?"

Okuyama nodded. "Sure, no problem."

Tanaka pointed at Gen. "Perfect. So, come along then."

Gen nodded. "Sure." Reluctantly he followed Tanaka upstairs, towards the room all of their weapons and stuff were stored in. He felt not necessarily uncomfortable because of what Okuyama had just told him. At least that was not the only reason. No, it was just that Tanaka had been in a terrible mood lately. And no matter what Gen did, things always ended with him being snapped at. Oh joy.

Once they had reached the weapon room Tanaka gestured at the open boxes standing on the table. "There's no system whatsoever how those different kind of ammo got packed into those containers. So we have to order them before we can put them on the shelves."

Gen looked at the huge boxes and the great amount of material that had been delivered. It would take an eternity to sort those out. "I see."

Tanaka sighed. "I'm not thrilled by it either. So come on, the sooner we start the sooner we're finished."

"Got it." Gen started unpacking those containers, being careful not to take too much space or to make a mess. And yet it hadn't even been five minutes until the complaining began.

Tanaka looked at him, barely able to withhold a glare. "I need to reach that shelve. Move it."

Arguing with Tanaka when he was in such a mood made no sense, so Gen just stepped aside. "Sure, sorry." So Gen moved to the other side of the table. Just to be in way once again only minutes later. He had been busy collecting all the small calibres, meanwhile completely lost in thought. He flinched in shock due to an irritated voice suddenly snapping at him.

"Do you need to clutter the whole side? Just put it on the shelves right away, honestly."

"Sorry. Thought it would be faster like this", Gen said.

This time Tanaka did not even try to hide his glare. "Thinking? You? Whatever. Just get it out of the way."

Wow. That had hurt. Gen knew that Tanaka did not consider him the sharpest tool in the shed but still. It was not like Gen was stupid or anything. Wordlessly he gathered the boxes together and put them on the shelves, glad to have an excuse to turn his back on Tanaka. Gen thought he was good enough in suppressing facial expressions when it counted but in case there was still a trace of vulnerability on his face left it was better to face the shelve. If someone managed to hurt him he would not let them see them this ever. He had his pride too.

Gen had barely time enough to calm himself down when Tanaka snapped at him again. And again, and again and again. No matter what Gen did, there was just always something left for Tanaka to complain about. At least now Gen was prepared, making sure to show an indifferent expression no matter what. Seriously, what was the matter lately with Tanaka anyway? He never used to be this mean. Sure, he had always something to nag about but there had never been any real malice behind it. Until now.

They had nearly put away all of the new material, only one box was left to get emptied. Great. Until now everyone had been busy with their own boxes but now they had to clear this one together. And surely, it had not taken long until Tanaka started complaining once again: "Don't' be so slow, move your arm aside. That package's here quite big, you know. How do you even manage to be always in the way like this?"

Gen withdrew his arm. "Sorry."

Tanaka huffed. "Honestly, I've never seen a person clumsier than you. I don't get how Takahashi manages to spend so much time with you without going crazy."

Gen started scratching the scar on his nose, intently looking at Tanaka. So that's what all of this had been about? All this time Tanaka had complained about Gen but could it be that he was actually angry at Takahashi? Because lately Sato wanted Takahashi to tag along whenever he went outside for a job and stuff. What did Tanaka expect? Due to that disaster with that chick he had made himself untrustworthy after all. Though he was always complaining how Takahashi was the unreliable one. The irony.

Gen had been compliant until now but suddenly he felt a pang of frustration. Why was anything always his fault anyway? "Takahashi and I get along fine, just so you know", Gen quietly said.

Tanaka raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, I can see that. That's why he started avoiding you."

"He's not avoiding me. He's just busy with other things."

"Is that what's he's saying? Looks to me like he's glad he's gotten a reason not to see you. If I had to see that anxious face you're making all the time I would find excuses to avoid it too."

Gen huffed, continuing to put away the boxes. Tanaka was just making things up in his frustration. Takahashi was not avoiding him. But Takahashi could hardly say no if Sato asked him to tag along on outside jobs and the like. And Gen was not always looking anxious! Okay, it was true that he often felt worried but Takahashi had never minded that. Besides, alongside him Gen felt so much more confident anyway. Which was the reason that yes, even though he knew Takahashi was not avoiding him, it still hurt that they had less time to spend with each other than they used to. But damn, anxiety or not, if he had to Gen was perfectly able to deal with things by himself, thank you very much! Despite his efforts to keep an expressionless face he felt his eyes getting wet. But he certainly would not start crying, as if!

Tanaka had been silent the last few moments but of course that that couldn't last. "You're not starting to cry, are you?", he asked, voice sounding too surprised to still have any malice in it.

As an answer Gen just glared at him. He could feel that meanwhile his eyes had gotten wet, but so what? He didn't care anymore.

"You are actually crying. What are you, a girl?"

Once more Gen felt a pang of frustration shoot through him. Fuck this shit, fuck it all! "Unfortunately not. I heard all they have to do to get their way with you is cry at you."

The room went very silent. Gen knew that he had gone too far but he still felt so upset he couldn't bring himself to care. Tanaka's eyes hardened. They looked so unfriendly all the time anyway, so was that supposed to matter?

"Oh no, not you too! Listen, she was forced to participate in the experiments, it's not like it was her idea. Killing her would have been too much."

"Well, it was you who put her on that list, didn't you?"

"That was a mistake. She truly felt sorry for what had happened."

"She helped capturing us! Doesn't look like she felt sorry to me", Gen said, taken aback by this much stupidity.

Tanaka's eyes widened. "That's… they made her do it, don't you get that?"

"No! I don't get why I have to make excuses for someone who wants me dead!", Gen shouted.

Tanaka stared at him. Gen felt his hands beginning to shake. He hadn't even been planning to raise his voice, it had just suddenly happened. In a quiet voice he added: "Why do I have to make excuses for someone like that? Thanks to her we would be at the lab right now if it hadn't been for Sato. You too, by the way. Those people are not your friends. They're just concerned with their own wellbeing, not with yours."

Tanaka sighed He looked at Gen, thinking. His eyes had lost their anger since Gen had started shaking. He truly must make a pathetic sight if Tanaka couldn't even muster up a glare after everything Gen had just said. Tanaka sighed and after a while added: "I just felt sorry for her."

"Well, she didn't feel sorry for you. At least not enough to make it count", Gen said, his right hand still clutching the little box he had planned to put away since what seemed to be ages ago. Feeling the need to explain himself he continued: "You know, I just think it doesn't matter what anyone says until they do something to prove it. Actions matter. That woman was trying to get us caught. Sato came to get us out. So you don't have to ask me twice who I consider to be the better person."

"So, you consider a person good as long as they threat you good, no matter what else?", Tanaka asked, sounding thoughtful. Gen raised his gaze. Not only had Tanaka stopped looking angry, he almost looked sad now.

"Of course I do. Can't afford to think anything else. Look, I'm not saying you have to stop feeling for other people. I'm just saying the moment it puts you in danger it's beginning to be stupid."

"So just because we're ajin we can't afford showing unnecessary kindness?"

Gen shoved a strand of his bangs away from his eyes. "Wasn't saying I'm thinking like that because I'm an ajin."

Tanaka raised his eyes, looking surprised.

Gen didn't like all the attention he suddenly was getting. And he still couldn't stop shaking. "I mean, it's just my opinion, you know."

"I see", Tanaka said, still giving off this melancholic air. Was he always like that when he wasn't angry? Gen couldn't tell. As far as he could say Tanaka was always more or less annoyed about something.

Tanaka's next words took Gen by surprise: "I raised my weapon at him."

"At who?", Gen asked though he had a pretty good idea what Tanaka was talking about.

"Sato. When I was trying to get her out. I don't know why I did it. I was just so angry and it suddenly happened."

"Is that so?"

"Guess I'm sometimes doing funny things when I'm angry. But that's no excuse. He came to get us out. And I threat him with a weapon."

Gen put down the box of ammo he still had been holding in his hand. "Okay."

"He got me out of that laboratory too. And I threat him with a weapon." Aimlessly Tanaka grabbed a package of ammo, twisting and turning it around in his hands, intently looking at it. "If I were him I wouldn't want to have me around anymore either. Takahashi's impulsive but at least you don't have to worry that he's going to stab you in the back."

"Well, look, sometimes you do act a bit weird when you're angry, Sato knows that too. He knows you're usually not like this." Why was Gen even feeling this strong urge to comfort Tanaka? For the last hour he had just constantly snapped at Gen. But then, Tanaka usually didn't act mean-spirited like that, which was the truth too.

"Does he really know that? I don't know. It's hardly a good excuse."

"Well, you're not locked up in a steel drum, so it can't be too bad."

Gen had just tried to make a lame joke but the next moment Tanaka looked at him with serious eyes. "Yet. I'm not in a steel drum yet."

Gen's chest suddenly felt heavy. "Look, just be reliable again from now on. You know what the problem is, that's the first step, right? Now you can fix it."

Tanaka shook his head, showing a sad smile. "You're impossible. Are you trying to cheer me up?" He looked at Gen with disbelieve.

"Don't you want me to?"

"No, no, it's fine. I'm not complaining."

"Good, that's good", Gen said, feeling himself returning the smile. And he realized that he was still shaking. Well, there were probably odder things happening.

Silently they continued putting the ammo away. Tanaka hadn't snapped at Gen even one more time. When they were done Gen was glad they finally were finished but only because the work had been such a pain. He no longer felt the need to flee from Tanaka's side as soon as possible.

* * *

Later in the evening, Gen decided to go to bed early. All the important things for today had been finished anyway and he felt the sudden urge to continue reading that novel he had started ages ago. Somehow he had never managed to finish it. Besides, though the shaking had stopped long ago, he still felt upset. So he would be of no use to anyone anyway. Gen sighed and buried himself under the blanket. He hated it when he was like this. Feeling vulnerable was bad enough but it was just the worst when other people noticed. As Tanaka had today. Though he did not have seemed to mind it too much. Well, he probably had been distracted with all the things Gen had been shouting at him.

Feeling exhausted by the memory of it all Gen picked up the book. He had not even finished one chapter when he was disturbed by a text arriving on his phone. It was Takahashi. He wrote that the operation had gone well but it probably would take some time until he and Sato arrived home. Absentmindedly sighing Gen locked the phone and put it aside. "It could take some time", huh?

His gaze fell on the futon lying next to him. Initially he and Takahashi had started sleeping in this room together, just as they had done at their old hideout. Because yes, the building they were living in was huge but it hadn't actually that many rooms. They just happened to be very large and most of them weren't suitable to sleep in anyway. So Gen and Takahashi had ended up sharing a room. But nowadays there were more and more nights Takahashi's bed stayed empty.

Gen cuddled deeper under his blanket and continued reading.

He had already been asleep when voices woke him up. Gen cracked his eyes open. He could hear voices outside in the corridor. So Takahashi and Sato had finally come home. Good. Gen listened to Takahashi's voice. He knew that tone. Takahashi sounded like this if he was really exited but was trying to be quiet. Gen slightly smiled. So if Takahashi was in a good mood it had to mean that everything was all right, huh? Good to know. Feeling his left shoulder having become stiff Gen turned around to lie on his other side, arranging his blanket more orderly over himself while doing so. Just a while later he was already sleeping again.

The next morning Gen woke up due to Takahashi making a really bad job of trying to be quiet while entering the room.

Gen opened his eyes, taken aback at how awfully bright the room was. They really needed to put up curtains or something. Despite all of this he managed to smile at Takahashi. "Hey there."

Takahashi smiled back, looking embarrassed. "Hey. Sorry, I did not mean to wake you up."

"Don't worry. I wasn't planning to sleep this long anyway."

Takahashi sat down on his own futon. "I need to pick up fresh clothes. Mine got all bloody yesterday." So that was the reason Takahashi was running around in his underwear.

"Did it go well? Yesterday I mean?"

"Yeah, no problem. It all went according to plan."

Gen sat up. "That's good, that's fine."

Takahashi lowered his gaze. "We returned really late yesterday. I didn't want to wake you up so I didn't come in."

Gen smiled. "I see. Thanks." He tried to tidy up his hair before he continued. "So, the list's still not done yet, right?"

Takahashi shook his head. "We still have targets. There's one we need everyone to deal with it. There's one though Sato and I are going to finish tomorrow."

"Sounds busy."

"Quite", Takahashi said, failing in suppressing a yawn.

Gen chuckled. "You're still tired?"

Takahashi nodded, looking at the ground with eyes that still looked sleepy. "Didn't get much sleep last night." He let himself fall onto the fabrics and drew his arm before his eyes, hiding his face behind it. "It's too early and I'm still tired."

Gen had to laugh. It was just like Takahashi to act this melodramatic. "Hey, are you feeling okay?", Gen asked

Takahashi still kept his face hidden. "I really need a coffee right now", he quietly said, voice barely audible.

"So, is that a yes or a no?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. You don't have to worry so much."

Gen's face got serious again. "Yeah, but you've been away a lot lately. I just want to know if everything's okay."

Takahashi rolled on his side, finally stopping to hide his face behind his arm. "No problem, I'm just tired. Besides, the list's almost finished.

Gen scratched the scar on his nose. "That's what I mean. We shouldn't get sloppy just because the end is already in sight."

Takahashi smiled and sat up. "No one's getting sloppy. Not with Okuyama helping developing all those plans. You know he's nothing but accurate."

"Still. Things like that sometimes make you think."

Takahashi looked at him, eyes all serious. "You're still not over that time they managed to knock us out with narcotics." It hadn't been a question.

Hectically Gen shook his head. "It's not like that. I'm just thinking repeating a stunt like that is unnecessary."

"That's what everyone's thinking so don't worry. No one's here that stupid to make the same mistake twice", Takahashi said, beginning to put on the Hawaii shirt he had come to fetch. This one had a mesmerizing pattern in bright orange and yellow. Takahashi's face still looked like he was lost in thought. Then he looked at Gen, leaned over and pulled him into a short hug. "Things will be fine, we make sure of that." He stood up, putting on his cargo pants. "Tomorrow will be busy. So I won't be around much today. There are still some things we need to prepare."

"You mean it's going to be complicated? Are you sure the two of you will be enough?"

"No, it won't be complicated exactly. Just busy. And too much people would draw attention in this particular case."

Gen nodded. "I see."

"Don't worry. Okuyama helped us developing the plan. It will be fine", Takahashi said, ruffling Gen's hair before leaving the room.

Lost in thought Gen started brushing his hand through his hair. He knew that Takahashi wasn't avoiding him on purpose. But it still would be nice it there would be more time they could spend together.

* * *

Takahashi hadn't been lying when he had said that the next victim wouldn't be a complicated one. The contrary. He and Sato just had been away for a short time when they returned.

Gen and Tanaka had been sitting next to Okuyama, who was explaining the details of their next group operation on his computer. This one would be a more complicated one. Gen and Tanaka were both intently listening to Okuyama when Takahashi entered the room. He gestured at the screen. "Hey what are you doing?"

"I'm explaining them our next move", Okuyama answered. He did not look surprised to see Takahashi back already.

"I see", Takahashi said, walking over to the copy of their death list which was hanging at the wall. He took a pen and scratched out the finished target. Gen froze, hit by realisation. Anxiously he looked at Tanaka.

But Tanaka just sat there, face frozen in shock. He didn't make a sound.

The next moment Sato stepped into the room. His shirt was sprinkled with blood. His face was unreadable.

Tanaka looked at him with questioning eyes. "Sato-san? I don't understand. I thought Li-san was no longer on the list."

Sato's face suddenly looked sympathetic. "I know that's what we decided. But the more I was thinking about it the clearer it got that we can just not afford to spare a person on this list, no matter how the facts about them might look now. We made that list public ages ago. If we suddenly were to change its content that would make us look weak, no, even unreliable. No one would take us seriously anymore."

Gen had expected to see Tanaka breaking out in a shouting fit. Instead he looked absolutely crushed.

"I'm sorry, Tanaka-kun. I was thinking of a way to avoid doing this but there was just no other option", Sato said, managing to sound sincere.

"Yeah, I guess, I see", Tanaka said, looking like he had problems finding the right words. "I guess there was no choice", he finally managed.

Sato still wore that sympathetic look. "There wasn't, I'm sorry." With this he left the room. Gen knew that he hadn't felt sorry at all. Not that Gen had a problem with that. If someone would have threatened to shoot him he would have felt an urge for revenge too. Besides, Sato had been right about the list, now that it was published with what kind of explanation could one change it? It really would have reflected badly on them. Even Tanaka must understand that. Gen looked at him. Tanaka still looked sad but not surprised, exactly. He must have been prepared that something like this would be happening, right? Because honestly, what did he except? It hadn't been a hyperbole when Gen had told Tanaka that he just should be glad that he wasn't presently stuck in a steel drum.

Okuyama, who had been intently watching until now, suddenly cleared his throat. "Let's go on then, okay? Takahashi, come here too, I was just explaining our next plan."

Takahashi nodded and fetched a chair. "Okay."

When Okuyama was finished, Gen stayed behind in the room with him. Once he was sure they were alone together he looked at Okuyama, eyes full of questions.

"He passed. Tanaka I mean", Okuyama said, voice quiet

"So, Sato really did this on purpose?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?"

Gen sighed. "Well, if you ask me like that, I guess it is."

On his way back to his room Gen saw Tanaka slouched at the kitchen table, pensively looking at a mug of coffee standing in front of him. Gen hesitated. But then he decided to trust his gut. Hesitantly he stepped closer, coming to a halt at the door. Tanaka looked up, his pondering look now set on Gen.

Gen cleared his throat. "Hey. Are you okay?"

Tanaka sighed. "Does it matter? You didn't even like her."

"Yeah, but you did. So, are you ok?"

Tanaka smiled that sad smile again, the one he had shown in the weapon room. "You're really a weird one, you know?"

Gen shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe. Still want to know if you're all right."

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I was just thinking." Tanaka looked intently at Gen. "And you know, I didn't exactly like her either. I just felt sorry for her. You don't have to like someone to do that."

"Guess that's true."

* * *

Okuyama had been right with his predictions, it really started to look like Tanaka had passed Sato's test. Because from that day on Sato started to treat Tanaka a lot more warmly again.

And finally they were talking normally to each other again. When things still had been weird everything they had said to each other was being said in an awfully distant and overly polite tone. It had been unbearable to listen to and even worse to watch. Now at least the two of them were smiling at each other again.

It almost felt like in the old times again. Almost, but not quite. Which was due to the fact that Sato still dragged Takahashi along if he needed someone beside him. And it did not look like he had any intention of stopping this.

Sato and Tanaka were developing the plans together again too, just as they had used to. But it was still mostly Takahashi Sato asked to come along on his outside operations. The official explanation was that their ghosts were a perfect match together. But Gen did not have the impression that Sato did this any longer to mess with Tanaka's head. No, instead it looked like he was just searching for excuses to spend time with Takahashi. Whatever that was supposed to mean.

With a sigh Gen stared at that novel he still hadn't managed to finish. Initially he had continued reading it to forget about all that drama that was going on at the moment. But instead its romantic subplot had made him overanalyse the situation he was living in. Gen slouched down on the comfortable wooden chair he had been sitting on this whole time, absentmindedly staring at the pages of the book lying in front of him on the table. He was no longer reading any of its content, too lost in thought to do so.

With a sigh Gen put the book aside, reaching for the small pack of chocolate milk that stood on the table instead. Still lost in his ponderings he took a long sip. Suddenly he turned his head, listening to the voices coming from Okuyama's room upstairs. He couldn't withhold a smile while doing so. Tanaka and Sato were with Okuyama, developing the next plan together. Judging from their voices things were going fine.

Gen continued reading. Now the only sound left in the room was the buzzing of the fridge. Strange how calming this sound was.

Getting absorbed by the plot of the book again Gen started to forgot about his surroundings. He had no idea for long he had been reading until he noticed the sound of approaching footsteps. Gen looked up and saw Tanaka stepping trough the kitchen door, nodding a silent greeting in Gen's direction. He opened the fridge, taking out a bottle of tea. He took the seat facing Gen.

"You're always reading when I see you on your own. What's the book about?", Tanaka asked, not quite smiling but eyes looking friendly.

"It's about a guy who loses all the memories connected to all the friends and family he's ever known. He's trying to find out what happened but things get only worse from then on."

Tanaka raised his eyebrows and opened his bottle. "Huh, scary. And why did he lose his memories?"

Gen scratched the scar on his nose. "The way it looks now he never knew the people claiming to be connected to him. They all have been lying to him. I don't know yet why though."

"Wow, that's horrible."

"Quite."

Tanaka took a sip of his tea and continued: "You were reading another book a while ago. You read quite a lot, don't you?"

"I don't know. I guess? It's just something I enjoy doing."

"But that's nice. I can't even remember what the last book I've been reading was about. I've always thought that I should try to read more."

"But you're reading a lot too, actually. I see you reading the newspaper all the time."

Suddenly Tanaka's eyes got thoughtful and for the first time since their fallout in the weapon room Gen saw anger showing up in them. "I have to. I really have to, you know."

Gen's eye's got a questioning look. "You have to?"

"Absolutely. There's a lot of things you miss when you're away for ten years."

Gen felt his stomach cramp together. That had been a thoughtless remark of him. Now he had made Tanaka remember all the bad things he had been through in those experiments. Feeling overly self-aware he searched for words. "That's… Uh, that was a stupid thing for me to say. I'm sorry."

Tanaka looked at Gen and slowly his eyes lost the anger residing in them. "You don't need to apologise. None of the things I just mentioned are your fault."

"But I made you remember them. That wasn't necessary. I should have known better."

Tanaka huffed, smiling sadly. "You're impossible. Don't apologize for things which aren't your fault."

"I kind of feel like I have to when you're looking this angry."

"I was... look, I was angry at the things I was remembering. I wasn't angry at you. Get the difference?", Tanaka said, voice sounding apologetic.

"Yes. I'm still the one who brought it up though."

"Stop worrying about that already. Sometimes the most trivial things make me think about that stuff. That's no one's fault but the bastards responsible for it." Tanaka's face looked thoughtful and after a while he continued: "That's why we're finishing that list, you know? The people standing on it behaved inhumanly. You certainly didn't."

Gen sighed. "Okay." He combed a hand through his ponytail, tidying it up. "About that. How are the preparations going for the next target?"

"Fine. Okuyama just got in the last of the information we needed. Once it's properly analysed we will be ready to move."

"Sounds good."

"Yeah. It's only a matter of a few days now."

* * *

Nakano looked at Izumi. "I got a message in. Nagai and the others managed to separate them from the rest of the group. It's just the two of them now, down in the hallway. All of the doors are locked so they have to leave through the main entrance."

Izumi took a deep breath and grabbed the key. "Fine, we continue as planned."

Nakano's eyebrows furrowed together in worry. "But Izumi-san! Is it really a good idea for you to go alone? It will be you alone against two! Are you sure you don't want me to come along?"

"Absolutely. If Nagai's idea is supposed to work I have to go alone, otherwise he won't even bother to listen."

Nakano said no more but Izumi could still feel his worried stare. Not that she could blame him. She wasn't too convinced by Nagai's idea either but Tosaki had decided to go along with it. In her opinion he placed too much value in the plans a teenager had come up with. Sure, Nagai was intelligent, outstandingly so. But at his age there just had to be things he still were naïve about, that was just how those things worked. It was called 'growing up'. Heavens, if she recalled what kind of ideas and believes she had held with seventeen, the mere thought of it made her blush. The funny things that boy believed in. No, even if Nagai's IBM had clashed heads with Sato's, the kid could not 'just know' what made Sato tick. Just as Izumi did not 'just know' what made Tanaka tick, clashed IBM heads or not. She had seen a glimpse, an idea, but there was no way someone could ever truly know the heart of another human being. This Izumi had learned long ago with a painful accuracy.

Descending down the narrow stairs leading into the hallway she wished she had just kept quiet about the whole thing. Once Nagai had heard about it, he had come up with a plan, fuelled by his own believe that only because his IBM had connected with another one for mere seconds he had gained knowledge of another human's psyche. Nagai simply had placed too much value in the few things Izumi had seen. She considered basing a plan on it pure insanity. And the fact that Tanaka had saved her from the people who had wanted to capture her didn't mean a thing. The man had spent the last ten years in a laboratory, the fact that he did not wish a fate like this on an enemy hardly made him an ally.

She had reached the door to the hallway. Determinedly she grabbed the key, turning it around. Finally in the hallway she didn't even have to search. There they stood, right in front of her, Tanaka and the guy with the ponytail. It was him Nagai had picked as their target when analysing the data of the Forge Security attack. Izumi remembered his words: "Of their attack group, he's the weakest part. While Tanaka and Mister Hawaii Shirt carry out the attacks, he's mainly here to watch their backs and shoot them back to life in case they are shot. He's not the one coming up with ideas. Instead his entire demeanour is centred on Tanaka and especially on Hawaii Shirt. If we catch him and Tanaka alone we have a chance to come through with our suggestion."

Izumi just hoped Nagai had been right.

She didn't even have time to say a thing before Tanaka had spotted her. He looked at her with utter disgust. "You again", he growled. At the same time he had grabbed ponytail's arm, shoving him behind himself, making sure Izumi couldn't reach him.

Izumi raised her hands. "Please wait. I'm not here to fight. I came to talk. Please listen."

Tanaka raised his gun. "Not interested. Don't get the wrong idea, just because I didn't want you to end up on a dissection table doesn't mean I'll let you ever get in my way."

With every passing moment the belief in her grew that this had been a really bad idea. But she had no choice but to continue: "Listen! Tosaki wants to make a deal with you, Tanaka."

"He what? Are you trying to manipulate me again or what?"

"I told him what had happened, back at the stairways. When you helped me escape. You're actually not that interested in fighting, aren't you? You're a nice person. Listen, that's Tosaki's deal: He will let you escape, new identity at all. Like he has done for me, so he knows what he's doing. But the thing is, Tosaki still has to provide a sample to satisfy the people above him." She pointed at ponytail who was looking at her with wide anxious eyes. "So, that's the deal: In exchange for you guaranteed freedom you hand him over as a test subject."

Izumi knew for sure that the entire plan had been a big mistake when she had finished her sentence. A look at Tanaka's face told her all she needed to know. This wasn't anger on his face anymore, it was pure outrage. Even back at the stairwell, when he had been angriest at her, he hadn't given her a look like this. His arm grabbed ponytail around the shoulders, holding him close. Tanaka's other arm still pointed his weapon at her.

"Is that the impression you have of me? That I'm the kind of trash that sells out his friends?", Tanaka asked with a cold voice. He still held ponytail close, giving off the impression that someone would have to cut his arm off before he would let go.

Izumi slowly walked backwards, hands still raised. "It's not about me having an impression. Tosaki wanted this message to be delivered to you. This is an opportunity that won't come again."

Tanaka huffed. "You can tell him this: It may be custom among Tosaki to sell one's friends out. But it isn't something we do."

The next moment Izumi heard a gunshot and could feel a hot burning pain in her right knee. Tanaka had shot her. Of course he had. If he and his friend wanted to escape they had to make sure Izumi couldn't stop them. Of course he was trying to knock her out. He was still glaring with disgust at her. This and the pain brought her close to a panic. If he didn't cooperate she couldn't just let him escape, if she did so Tosaki wouldn't let her hear the end of it. Sinking into desperation she called for Kuro-chan, making him attack Tanaka.

But Tanaka must have been ready for this possibility all along. In an instant he had called for his own IBM, letting it defend Izumi's attacks.

Through the haze of her pain she could hear Tanaka's voice. "You guys just never change, don't you? And you're still surprised why we want to get rid of you."

Izumi didn't answer, focusing instead on making Kuro-chan attack. But this time none of her moves could surprise Tanaka. His own IBM grabbed Kuro-chan, rendering him immobile, trying to end the whole issue by letting their heads crash.

There was no way Kuro-chan could avoid this movement anymore so all Izumi could do was preparing herself for the impact. It came without mercy. She could have done without that. Without reliving the regrets of running away while her mother was dying for her sake. Without reliving the pain of it. For this she had been ready, even if it was dreadful. What she hadn't been ready for were the fragments of Tanaka's memory. She hadn't expected to see anything new, after all it had only been some weeks since their last fight. And what could have happened to him in that short time anyway? What could happen to overwrite a strong memory like the one she had already seen: The shock of finding out that he was an ajin, the dread of being hunted because of it. The memory of his parents who had tried to keep him safe but despite their best efforts hadn't been able to stop the people who viewed his body as nothing more than a profitable test subject.

But the memory that was projected into Izumi's head was a completely new one. Neither had she been prepared for the pictures it contained nor the feelings attached to it. Later Izumi couldn't tell if she lost consciousness because of it or because Tanaka had knocked her out.

Izumi awoke to the sound of Nakano's voice: "Izumi-san! Izumi-san! Can you hear me? Izumi-san!"

Groggily she opened her eyes. Her whole body hurt but if Nakano was beside her the state she was in couldn't be too bad. "Nakano? I'm fine. I'm awake, see?"

Nakano's face looked at her with relieve. "Finally, you're awake. They got you knocked out for an eternity, you know?." His face darkened. "They all managed to escape. Tanaka and the guy that was with him too."

Izumi tried to sit up. Now she noticed that someone had laid her on a couch. They were in the room that had been serving as their base in the target's house. She sighed. "What about the president?"

Nakano shook his head. "They got him. While we were occupied with separating Tanaka and the other one from the rest of the group. The entire operation was a failure."

Izumi just nodded. She had known that the entire idea had been stupid. And all of this because a kid had claimed that he 'just knew how Sato ticked' because their IBMs had clashed heads once. Izumi should have never told them about the memories she had seen from Tanaka in the first place. They had placed too much weight on it ,though Izumi had insisted that during this incident she had just seen a fragment of Tanaka's mind. She combed a strand of hair out of her face. A fragment and nothing more.

The rest of the evening she tried her best to avoid Tosaki. He didn't directly blame her but it was obvious that he was in a terrible mood.

Being around Nagai wasn't much more fun either. He couldn't understand how their operation had failed and was trying to work out the error he had made that had caused such a disaster. Izumi would have liked to tell him that his error had been that he had underestimated the human heart but restrained herself from doing so. She didn't have the impression that he would have listened.

Shortly before she went to bed Tosaki took her aside. "So, about Tanaka. Are you sure there is no longer a chance he might switch sides?"

Izumi shook her head. "Remember when I told you the first time about the incident at Forge Security? Even back then I was convinced that there was no chance of him doing so. And even if it ever had been a possibility, it is definitely gone by now."

"And that through Nagai had been so sure. His reasoning had been watertight. What went wrong, I wonder?"

Izumi asked herself if she should tell him. Cold as Tosaki always appeared, if anyone should understand it was him. Izumi remember the frail form of a women lying in a hospital bed and a furious Tosaki standing beside her, ready to protect her no matter what. If she told him what she had seen he should have understood. But for some reason she felt like he wouldn't have listened anyway. Hadn't he stated numerous times that he didn't consider ajins to be like humans anyway? Besides, she felt fed up with arguing, with talking. So instead she just shrugged her shoulders. "Even if one tries to understand, who can ever figure out the true motivation of another's heart?"

This seemed to be answer enough for Tosaki. He sighed. "I guess you're right." With this he let her go.

Smoking her evening cigarette before going to bed, Izumi finally had a moment to think in private about the weird things that had happened today. The crash of their IBM's heads, she couldn't just get over it. She knew that what she had seen had been Tanaka's memories. But the feelings in them had been so intense, it felt like something that had happened to her, even if she knew better.

With a sigh she closed her eyes, unable to stop remembering now that she was all alone. Tanaka's memories crashed down on her.

She had been so angry, so isolated. The fact that she had been for a decade in that cursed laboratory isolated her. Because even if she explained the experience, no one ever truly understood. The fact that she had shown compassion towards the crying woman at Forge Security had isolated her even more. Because one moment of pity had destroyed the trust her friends had gifted her with. And why shouldn't they if her impulsive decisions had put them into danger? And through all of this laid her anger. Her deeply rooted anger she just could get not rid of, no matter how much she wished for it to disappear. It just got worse with every day, threatening to burn her up from the inside.

Despite of this, he had tried to cheer her up. Though she had been so mean to him. With every cruel insult she had hurled at him the anxiety on his face had looked more and more intense until she had managed to make him cry. But even then he hadn't hated her, he just had explained to her why he thought her line of thinking was wrong. He hadn't judged her, no, he had even listened to what she had to say. Even though she had made him cry.

And then he had just looked at her with his deep brown eyes, trying to understand her. And he had tried to be there for her in her desperation. She had been so mean to him and he still had tried to help her.

Izumi exhaled the smoke of the cigarette, feeling a headache creeping up on her. She remembered how Tanaka had held the smaller guy close to him, the feral expression his face had taken when he had tried to protect him. There had been no question from the beginning what Tanaka's decision would be.

Suddenly Kazuki's face flashed before her eyes. She hadn't thought about him since an eternity. Kazuki hadn't been there for her when she had been desperate. He had been too busy fucking her best friend. She felt a pang of irritation shoot through her. Though that bitch had known how much Izumi had loved him. Their betrayal still hurt, even after all those years.

Izumi looked at the burning end of her cigarette and the ash that was threatening to fall off. It was the only light on the balcony now that it was night. Her thoughts went back to Tanaka. One of the few things she could say for certain was that he wouldn't leave the smaller guy to fuck someone else should smaller guy ever feel sad. That would be the last thing Tanaka would think of.

The anxious face of the nameless guy appeared in Izumi's memory. She still could feel Tanaka's urge to protect him. To make sure he was safe, especially now that he had shown so much compassion towards Tanaka.

Izumi sighed. Tomorrow there would be a headache waiting for her, she could feel it.

* * *

Once the woman had been knocked out Tanaka grabbed Gen's arm, dragging him along. They had to reach the end of that damn hallway. Fast.

Gen still felt confused by all the things that had just taken place. But the important thing had been that Tanaka had protected him, right?

He had to remember the woman and Gen's stomach cramped together. She had looked so nice and the things she had said had sounded so appealing. At least Gen thought that they would sound appealing to someone going through a crisis. So, even if Gen did not really doubt Tanaka, he had still been scared. That woman had tried to manipulate him and people with a talent doing this could sometimes succeed against all odds.

But Tanaka hadn't hesitated for a moment. Once the woman had started talking about Tosaki's offer, Tanaka had grabbed Gen, holding him close and refusing to let go. Gen could still feel Tanaka's grip on his upper arm. He wouldn't be surprised if until tomorrow a bruise would show up in that place. But even if, that wouldn't be a problem. After all the only reason it would appear was because Tanaka had protected him.

The light of the sun stung in Gen's eyes. Finally they had reached the exit and had left that wretched building which had held them underground until a moment ago. Tanaka was still holding Gen close, dragging him along. He looked down at him, face no longer furious but worried. "We have to reach the car and get out of here. Who knows if they have anything else planned?"

"Do you think the others will be fine?", Gen asked, having trouble to get the words out now that the running had made him short of breath.

"Of course they're fine. Sato's there."

But once they had reached the car they were alone. No longer being able to form coherent words Gen just looked at Tanaka, not even trying to hide his concern.

"They will arrive here soon. They will, don't worry", Tanaka said, still looking concerned despite his words. He grabbed his phone. "I'll call Okuyama. He's in contact with them and will know what's going on."

Tanaka's conversation with Okuyama didn't take long. Once he was finished he looked at Gen. "They're on their way back. They must arrive any moment now."

Gen only nodded. He still felt anxious. After all that had happened he just wanted to get out of here. He shoved the hem of his cardigan over his hand, holding on to it tightly.

Tanaka was still studying Gen's face. "You're crying."

"What? No, I'm not, I'm ..." Gen touched his cheeks. They were wet. He really had been crying. He shook his head in annoyance. "I'm just a bit upset, that's all." How could you cry and not even be aware of it? He must look pathetic.

Tanaka's eyes got a serious look. "Upset? Because of that bitch? You didn't believe I would listen to anything she had to say, right?"

Hectically Gen shook his head. "Of course not! I didn't! She was just so scary. She looked so nice and then she says all those cruel things." Gen had to shudder. "What were her words? A potential sample? A test subject?" Revolting!

"That's that kind of disgusting those people are. I'm not even surprised", Tanaka sighed, still looking at Gen with worried eyes. He didn't believe that Gen had actually doubted him, right? Gen hadn't, he had just been scared at how convincing that women had sounded.

"We will be out if here in an instant, okay?", Tanaka said, looking around, checking their surroundings.

No longer trusting himself to find the right words Gen just nodded.

Tanaka still looked like he was at loss for what to do. Seemingly no longer knowing what to say either he put his arm around Gen's shoulder. Gen didn't mind at all. Besides, Tanaka made the impression that he was unwilling to let go. Was he really this determined to make sure Gen was ok? Gen remembered how angry Tanaka had gotten by the mere implication of selling anyone out. How did that woman get such a wrong impression of him anyway? Tanaka wasn't cruel; he just sometimes got a bit choleric when his anger got the better of him. Gen rubbed his eyes, trying to make the last strains of his tears disappear. "What's taking the others so long? We should get out of here."

"We should", Tanaka said, still holding Gen. Like that Gen didn't feel scared any longer. It was all better now, really.

Not even a minute later Sato and Takahashi finally showed up. Takahashi's shirt was drenched in blood and Sato wasn't even attempting to hide that he was having a good time. Once he spotted Tanaka and Gen his smile even widened. "So, there are the two of you hiding. I don't even get why they took the effort to split us up when it made them fail protecting our target."

Takahashi climbed into the car. "They're beginning to get careless; there wasn't even an effort to stop us." His face got thoughtful. "They made leaving the building a challenge, though."

Tanaka sighed. "Whatever, let's get out of here."

While Tanaka started the car Sato gave Gen a long and hard look. "Why are the two of you looking like you just saw a ghost? Aside from the fact that you look pale enough to count as a ghost yourself, Gen."

Gen shrugged his shoulders. "We ran into that ajin Tosaki keeps around."

Sato's eyes got a very sharp look. "Really? What did she want this time?"

"That snake had the task to act as a messenger", Tanaka growled.

"Messenger?", Takahashi asked.

Tanaka huffed. "You should have heard the nonsense she was babbling about. That Tosaki wanted to make a deal. Those people, I tell you."

Sato's eyes still looked very sharp. "What kind of deal?"

"She wanted me to hand over Gen in exchange for those people leaving me alone for good. Can you believe that? Who the hell did she think she was talking to? I made sure she got an exact idea of what I was thinking about the kind of things she was implying about me!", Tanaka shouted, his formerly deflated anger now completely returned.

"I can imagine", Sato said, looking completely satisfied for some reason.

Takahashi, who was sitting next to Gen was looking at him with worry. "Gen? Did she try something funny? Are you all right?"

Gen rubbed his face. His eyes weren't still swollen from crying, weren't they? Despite feeling afraid of giving himself away he looked at Takahashi anyway. "I'm fine. They had locked us into that underground hallway but Tanaka got us out."

"Did he? Huh, doesn't sound easy with that female ajin being around. Doesn't she have a ghost too?", Takahashi asked.

Gen shrugged his shoulders. "She got it out but Tanaka just knocked her out anyway. I didn't even need to fire our special ammo. She didn't stand a chance."

Takahashi sighed. "Good. That's good."

Gen's attention fell on Sato. He hadn't turned around or something but Gen just realized that he had intently listened to everything Gen had just said. Good. The things Tanaka had done today were nothing they needed to hide. The contrary.

* * *

Despite the incident with Tosaki's female ajin there was no opportunity for them to slow down. Only several days later Sato and Takahashi were getting ready for an overnight trip that was necessary for preparing their next move.

Everyone was helping getting the weapons ready for the trip when Sato brought it up. Stuffing his part of ammo into a bag he apologetically looked at Okuyama: "I'm feeling bad that from all the possible days it has to be tomorrow we're away. But if we don't act right now another opportunity won't come this soon."

Okuyama only shook his head. "No big deal. It's nothing."

Tanaka looked up. "Tomorrow? What is it about tomorrow?"

Okuyama's face started looking guarded. "Nothing important. You don't have to worry about it."

Sato grinned, suddenly looking gleeful. "Of course it's important. It's Okuyama's birthday."

Gen looked at Okuyama. "Your birthday? I didn't know. You should have said something."

Okuyama blushed. "Don't make a fuss about it, please."

"Don't always be so humble. If I'd be here tomorrow I'd make sure it gets celebrated", Takahashi said.

Okuyama showed a little smile. "That sounds more like a threat, you know? I'm not sure I'm still sad you're away tomorrow."

Takahashi sighed in exaggeration. "At least you admit you'll be sad when I won't be here."

Okuyama shook his head and quietly laughed.

Once they were done preparing the weapons for the trip Gen stayed behind in the room, waiting for an opportunity to talk to Okuyama.

"But for real now, we should celebrate your birthday somehow", Gen said, unable to keep a hopeful look away from his face.

Okuyama still looked slightly uncomfortable. "You don't have to. I don't want to cause any inconvenience."

"Stop talking like that, your birthday is no inconvenience. I'd like to do something for you. Come on, is there anything you want? I don't know, something to do, something special you want to eat, anything?"

Okuyama lowered his gaze, absentmindedly scratching the nape of his neck. "I don't know. I haven't eaten curry in an eternity, that's the first thing that comes to my mind if you ask me like that."

Gen smiled. "Curry? I can cook some tomorrow if you want me to."

Okuyama looked at him with surprise. "You can cook?"

Gen felt himself blush. "Not much. Nothing complicated. But my curry always turns out to be pretty good, I swear."

"That sounds tempting if you say it like that, now I'd really like to taste it. But only if it isn't any inconvenience for you, okay?"

"It's no problem. No problem at all."

Once the next day had arrived it turned out that the curry itself honestly was not the problem. The problem was that Gen had gone out grocery shopping without an umbrella and he got surprised by a sudden and heavy rainfall. Once he had arrived back home he was completely drenched.

He had just put the groceries away when he ran into Tanaka. "What happened to you? You're all wet", Tanaka asked, eyes widening with shock.

Gen let his hair down, trying to untangle the wet mess. "I just came back from getting the ingredients for Okuyama's birthday dinner. I forgot to bring an umbrella. Got surprised by the rain."

"You'll get a cold like that", Tanaka sighed, turning around and hurrying upstairs. He returned with a towel, laying it on Gen's head, trying to get his hair dry. "It's gotten so cold already, you need to get dry."

Gen felt his breath hitch. Tanaka was suddenly so close. But it didn't feel bad seeing Tanaka looking at him with concern. It was certainly preferable to his anger outbursts. Not that he had gotten angry at Gen since the day in the weapon room, Gen realized. And furthermore, up this close Tanaka smelled so good. Suddenly feeling self-conscious Gen took the towel and started to dry his hair himself. "It's not that bad, really", he mumbled. "It's just a bit of rain."

Tanaka raised his eyebrows in doubt. "Looks bad enough to me. You look like a drenched little kitten."

Though it was true that the water had caused him to feel cold Gen suddenly felt his face getting warm. "I don't!"

"If you say so", Tanaka said, showing that melancholic smile again.

Gen wanted to counter this but sneezed before he could get a word out.

Tanaka looked at him with a weird mixture of satisfaction and worry. "I think you need to get out of those wet clothes", he said, accentuating his point by gently patting Gen's head.

"I get it, I get it", Gen sighed, making his way. Once he had climbed the stairs he turned around one more time. "Look, I'm fine, you really don't have to worry this much."

Tanaka looked at him with a warm expression but his eyes still looked sceptical. "Yes, my little kitten."

Once he had changed into fresh clothes and got his hair dry again Gen entered the kitchen, starting to cook Okuyama's birthday dinner. Normally he didn't particularly enjoy cooking, but today it was turning out to be a good opportunity to think about certain things while being alone.

Okay, he really had gotten drenched but it had only been rain after all. Yet Tanaka had been so concerned. Seeing him act like that had really been a surprise. Except, no, it hadn't actually been. Not after the way he had acted when Tosaki's ajin had approached them. But wouldn't he have acted like that no matter who that woman had wanted him to sell out? He would have, even if it would have been Takahashi. Tanaka might constantly nag about the things Takahashi was doing but there was no real malice behind it when he acted like that. After all, being annoyed by someone's actions and genuinely hating them were two completely different things. There was no way Tanaka would every betray any of them, Gen thought, while peeling the potatoes. Especially not after Tanaka had experienced the hell that was awaiting any ajin caught by Tosaki. Gen had to pause for a moment. Tanaka rarely talked about it but the few things he had told about his time in the lab had been absolutely revolting. It was hardly a surprise he got so angry any time the subject came up.

But there was one thing Gen was also sure about: He doubted Tanaka would have put his arm around just anyone once they had managed to escape. Gen thought back when they had been waiting by the car for the others to arrive and how good it had felt to lean into the touch. Feeling his face getting red by the memory he determinedly started cutting the potatoes. Just like today Tanaka had started to dry Gen with that towel as if it had been the most normal thing in the world. He had been so close. Gen sighed. Up this close Tanaka's eyes had looked really pretty.

Lost in thought like this it seemed to be only an instant until the curry was ready. Gen tasted it, allowing himself to feel a little bit proud. He couldn't cook that many things but his curry always turned out to be really good.

Once the three of them were seated around the table Okuyama could not hide his excitement any longer. "Oh my, that smells really good." With lively eyes he looked at the full plate Gen had placed before him.

Gen had to smile. He just had to. It was such a rare thing to see Okuyama this excited. "Well, I hope the taste won't be a disappointment then."

Gen got Tanaka's plate ready, suddenly feeling very self-conscious while handing it over to him.

Suddenly Tanaka smiled at him. "Don't look so worried. If it tastes only half as good as it smells things will be more than perfect."

Smiling nervously Gen got his own plate ready.

Once they started eating it got silent but not for very long.

"Oh my god, that tastes good", Okuyama sighed.

Gen scratched the scar on his nose. "You like it then?"

Okuyama smiled blissfully. "Yes, absolutely."

Tanaka nodded. "Yeah, it's really good.", He took another bite, eyes looking pensive. "It's delicious."

"It is. Thank you so much", Okuyama said, still smiling happily.

"Don't mention it. I'm glad you like it", Gen said, smiling back. He just had wanted to make Okuyama feel a little bit special on his birthday.

The next few minutes were spend in that special kind of comfortable silence only a delicious meal manages to accomplish.

It was Okuyama who broke the silence: "So Gen, you like cooking or something?"

Gen had to laugh. "No, I actually don't like it at all. But I like eating so I sometimes end up doing it anyway."

"Sounds bothersome", Tanaka chuckled.

Gen shrugged his shoulders. "A bit. That's why I'm only doing stuff that doesn't take much time until it's finished."

"But curry isn't quick to cook at all", Okuyama said, looking thoughtful.

"That's the only exception. I mean, it's kind of worth it", Gen said.

Okuyama looked at his plate, sighing in awe. "Absolutely."

For a while they continued eating in silence.

This time it was Tanaka who started talking: "Hey Gen, where did you learn to cook this good anyway?"

"When I was a kid I sometimes made dinner for my siblings", Gen said.

"For your siblings?", Okuyama asked, sounding surprised.

Gen brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes. "Hm. I have two older brothers. Both of my parents had to work so we were alone a lot. I didn't want my brothers to grow up on nothing but instant noodles so I sometimes ended up making dinner."

Tanaka studied Gen with a pondering look. "So that's how it was."

Okuyama looked at Gen. "I don't have any siblings. I was always wondering how that might be like."

"You didn't miss anything, believe me", Gen said, surprised by himself how bitter his voice suddenly sounded.

Okuyama looked at him with surprise. "Didn't you go along well with them? I mean, it just sounded like that, with you looking after them and stuff."

"Yeah well, that's what I always assumed too. But I guess I was the only one thinking like that. Looks like they never saw me as much more than an annoyance after all." Gen had to withhold a sigh. At least his voice had sounded more collected this time. He shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't heard from my family in years. It's probably better like that."

"Don't they miss you?", Tanaka asked, sounding sad.

Gen shook his head. "Doubt it. Don't look at me like that, it's ok really. We're talking about stuff that happened years ago. It's not important."

Tanaka looked concerned. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. To be honest, I don't even want to see them anymore", Gen said. He really didn't.

"Why? Did they do something to you?", Okuyama asked, looking at Gen with sharp eyes.

Gen shrugged his shoulders. Those things were so difficult to put into words. "I guess you can't really say that they did something. We used to get along. More or less. But once I was growing older they started making jokes that they might as well have a sister around with someone like me. And the way they treated me just got more malicious with time. Things like that."

"What about your parents? Didn't they help you when your brothers got like this?", Tanaka asked.

"Once they came home from work they didn't want to hear any of it. I don't know, maybe they thought my brothers had a point or something. As I said, I'm actually glad I don't have to see them anymore", Gen sighed.

"Sounds like a reasonable sentiment to me", Okuyama said, eyes still looking sharp.

Tanaka did not say anything. He just looked at Gen with sad eyes.

Once they were done eating Okuyama did not even try to withhold a satisfied groan. "Man, I'm full. That was so good. Thanks a lot, Gen."

"Same. That was great, thanks Gen", Tanaka said.

"No big deal, you're welcome", Gen said, unable to hide a smile. He still didn't like cooking but making people happy he cared about felt kind of good. He stood up and begun putting the leftovers into tupperware.

"Hey, do you guys want to watch a movie or something?", Okuyama asked, voice beginning to sound drowsy.

"Sure. Which one?", Tanaka asked.

"Whatever you want. I'll get it ready. Any suggestions?", Okuyama asked.

Gen looked up from his tupperware. "Actually, I do. Do you guys like zombie movies?"

Once they had settled for a movie they got comfortable on the couch Sato had put before the TV. The thing was ragged but otherwise clean. It also was quite narrow, so with the three of them sitting on it they had to sit quite close to each other. But that was ok as long as you got along with the people beside you, Gen thought. He somehow had ended up sitting in the middle between Okuyama and Tanaka. Narrow as the space was he was somewhat wedged between the two of them but that was okay, really. The three of them were friends and it had become cold anyway.

Full as he was from the meal Gen felt himself getting drowsy. He was so tired and resting on the couch between Tanaka and Okuyama felt so wonderfully warm. He thought back how this afternoon he had arrived home, completely soaked from the rain. He really had been cold back then. He remembered Tanaka's concerned face, how he had tried to get Gen dry, wrapping that towel around him. Gen slouched deeper into the couch. That towel had felt so fluffy. Just as sitting here on the couch felt fluffy. He felt his eyes getting heavy. Looking at the screen somehow had become difficult. He had to rest his eyes for a moment, just for a little bit.

The first thing Gen noticed once he had gained consciousness again was that he felt even more comfortable. Because now his head was resting against something, something warm and solid. But he still felt so exhausted that he did not manage to open his eyes just yet.

He suddenly noticed that there were voices around him that weren't coming from the TV.

"No it's okay. But could you give me that blanket please? Thanks." That had been Tanaka, whispering. Gen's mind began to work. Was he leaning against Tanaka? He still had no energy to open his eyes.

"You're welcome." That had been Okuyama. Right, Gen could still feel him, sitting beside him, their legs were still touching.

He felt something fluffy being laid atop of him. Now it was really warm. Really comfortable. Gen realized that he really had to be leaning against Tanaka. It smelled just like him. So good. Just a few moments later Gen was asleep again.

Gen woke up to the sound of someone calling his name. Groggily he opened his eyes.

Tanaka was still sitting beside Gen, smiling at him. "Awake now?"

"Yeah." Gen brushed a strand of hair away from his eyes. Okuyama wasn't sitting beside him anymore. He looked at the clock standing beside the TV. "Don't tell me I have been asleep all this time."

"You have been."

"I'm sorry, I didn't plan to.

"You don't have to apologize. You looked so exhausted I couldn't bring it over me to wake you up."

Gen scratched the scar on his nose. "Really?" He realized that he was still lying half on top of Tanaka.

"Totally. But come on now, time to stand up."

"Do I really have to stand up right now? It's comfortable like this."

Tanaka looked at Gen, a warm expression in his eyes. "You have to. You're going to catch a cold if you stay here all night. Come on, little kitten." Tanaka stood up, reaching his hand out to Gen.

Gen took Tanaka's hand, allowing Tanaka to help him stand up. Reluctantly he let it go. Sleeping while leaning against Tanaka had been so comfortable, Gen was already missing his warmth.

* * *

The next day Gen found Tanaka clearing out one of their storage rooms, the biggest one. Over time it had somehow ended up storing all of the things that were on the one side no weapons but on the other side important enough be used frequently.

Gen stood still at the edge of the door, pensively drinking his chocolate milk. "Hey there. Can I help you somehow?"

Tanaka looked up, beginning to smile once he had recognised Gen. "No it's fine. I'm almost finished anyway."

Gen stepped into the room. "Really?"

"Really." Tanaka grabbed a box filled with electricity equipment and carried it out of the room.

The space was too narrow, Gen hurried in direction of the opposite wall to make room. Awkwardly he leaned onto the counter standing there "I'm in the way, sorry. I should leave."

Tanaka shook his head, a strange look of determination showing up on his face. "You don't have to. You're not in the way at all." He grabbed Gen by the hip and with one swift movement lifted him up onto the counter. "Just keep sitting there. It's fine like this, see?" The next moment he had already turned around and continued clearing the shelf.

Perplexed Gen stared at the box of chocolate milk he was still holding in his hand. A drop of milk was dangling at the top of the straw, threatening to fall off. "Um, sure. Okay", Gen mumbled. He took another sip of chocolate milk, looking at Tanaka while doing so. He was wearing that long sleeve today, the one with the flower print. It wasn't exactly tight-fitting but it still managed to accentuate how broad Tanaka's shoulders were.

Gen had to take another sip before he felt ready to say something. "So, why are you clearing the room out anyway?"

"Okuyama needs it. He's going to build another weapon. He can't move the heavy stuff that well with his leg so I offered to do it for him."

Gen nodded. "I see." And after a moment added: "A new weapon, huh?"

"Get's you curious, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, quite."

Gen looked out of the window. It was raining heavily. The sky, their surroundings, everything on the outside seemed to be covered by a grey veil.

It didn't take Tanaka ten more minutes to finish. Once the last box was stored away he sat down on the counter, next to Gen. "Done. Finally", he sighed.

"That's good", Gen said, taking another sip of chocolate milk.

Tanaka chuckled. "What is it about you and chocolate milk anyway? You drink that stuff all the time."

Gen shrugged his shoulders. "It's supposed to be good for your bones."

"Yeah, but you always drink it chocolate flavoured. You never drink milk just pure."

Gen wrinkled his nose. "That stuff tastes awful. No one in his right mind drinks milk that hasn't some kind of flavour."

"Some kind of flavour?"

"There's also strawberry milk. And banana milk."

"But chocolate's your favourite?"

"Totally", Gen said, failing to stifle a yawn. "Sorry."

"Tired?"

"More or less. It's so dark outside that I still don't feel quite awake yet."

Tanaka sighed. "Yeah, it's terrible."

"I don't really mind rain. But why has it to be so cloudy today?"

"You don't mind rain?", Tanaka asked, sounding surprised.

"No. It's always so quiet when it rains. I like that."

"I see. Well, I could appreciate the silence too if it just weren't so wet and dark", Tanaka said, sounding thoughtful.

The next few moments they sat there in silence, watching the heavy rain outside of the window. The branches of the tree standing in the yard were visible, shaking in the wind. Meanwhile the tree had lost a good size of its leaves. The ones still attached to it were coloured in red and yellow. Gen tried to suppress another yawn but failed again.

Tanaka chuckled. "You're really tired, huh?"

"Maybe a bit", Gen admitted. It wasn't the weather alone. Sitting so close to Tanaka made his head feel dizzy. He held on close to the now empty chocolate milk pack and tentatively laid his head on Tanaka's shoulder.

The next moment Tanaka laid his arm around Gen's hip, hesitantly drawing him in closer. They kept on sitting like that, silently watching the rain outside. Gen's heavy grip on the milk pack had weakened but he was still holding it in his hand.

They broke apart once footsteps were approaching. It was Okuyama. He stepped into the now empty room, eyes widening in surprise. He looked at Tanaka. "Did you clear out the room?"

Tanaka's eyes lightened up. "Promised you I would."

Okuyama still looked surprised. "I would have managed by myself. I didn't want to bother you with it, really."

"It wasn't a bother. And it didn't take much time at all", Tanaka said.

Okuyama showed a small smile. "Well, okay. Thank you."

"I heard you're going to build a new weapon", Gen said, looking at Okuyama with curiosity.

"That's the plan. As soon as I've collected all the instructions needed", Okuyama said.

"You're still at it? Is it that complicated?", Tanaka asked.

"Not complicated but time consuming. As soon as I'm done I can finally start getting the parts", Okuyama sighed. Gen noticed that he looked tired.

Apparently, so did Tanaka. "Hey, shall we get the parts for you? Most of them you can just get from the hardware store, right?"

Okuyama shoved a strand of hair out of his eyes. "Yes, but would that really be all right for you? It will be quite the long trip."

"Sure, got nothing else to do right now", Tanaka said.

Gen nodded. "Same."

"Fine, I give you the list then", Okuyama said. He nodded towards the computer room. "Come with me."

Once he had explained what they needed he looked at them with sharp eyes. "Listen, but that's not the only thing that's important. Buying all of those things at the same place would raise suspicion. Go to three different stores, no, better four and split the list up like that. That's really important, understood?"

Gen nodded. "Got it."

Tanaka took the list. "No problem."

Having to visit this many places it took the rest of the afternoon to buy the last thing on the list. Store number four they had visited was already quite far away from home. Once they were finished the rain had stopped. Tanaka looked at the sky and started the engine. "Thank God, that downpour has finally stopped."

Gen looked out of the car window. The parking lot was covered in puddles. But the sky looked bright again. "Yeah. The clouds are disappearing too." He looked at the clock. "Man, it's already this late. It took really long to finish the list, huh?"

Tanaka nodded. "Yeah, quite." His eyes got focused. "I just noticed that I haven't eaten anything since this morning."

"Me neither."

"Want to get something?"

"Yes, please. I'm hungry." He really was, Gen realized. He hadn't noticed it when they had been busy but now his stomach felt quite empty.

"But it has to be some kind of take-away. You know that I can't stay too long in one place, right?", Tanaka said, sounding pensive.

"Yeah, I know. So, let me think, let me think. I somehow feel like eating McDonald's. What do you say to that?"

"Sounds good to me."

Not even fifteen minutes later there was a bag of food laying on the backseat of the car. The smell made Gen's mouth water. He sighed longingly. "Man, now I'm really hungry."

Tanaka quietly laughed. "Same."

Gen looked out of the window. They were still far away from home. "I hope the food's still warm until we arrive."

"Yeah, you're right about that." Tanaka looked like he was pondering about something. He tilted his head towards Gen and continued. "Hey, I have an idea. We're near the place Sato and I used to practice gun shooting. Want to stop there and eat right now?"

"Sounds better than cold food to me. Let's go."

The place they arrived at hadn't even been more than ten minutes away from the main street. It was a tiny clearing in the forest. The sun was setting but the trees were still light by daylight. Tanaka gestured at their surroundings. "Barely anyone uses the mountain road anymore since the tunnel got built. Not even to mention the forest track. That's why we came always here to practice shooting."

Gen reached for the food bag. "I see." He looked at the tall trees surrounding them and the sky that was turning orange. "It's nice here, actually."

"Yeah. Who would have thought this morning that we would get to see the sun setting? Look at that orange."

They sky seemed to turn more colourful with every minute. There were still some clouds, but they were no longer hiding the sun. Instead they got coloured in dark shades of orange and red. Gen unwrapped his burger. "What a pretty sky."

Tanaka reached for his fries. "Yes, it is."

For a while they were eating in silence, looking at the sunset.

Tanaka had nearly finished his burger when he gave it a long pondering look. He looked back at the colourful sky and sighed absentmindedly.

Gen looked at him, eyes getting worried. "Tanaka? Everything ok?"

"What? Yes, yes. I was only thinking."

"What about?", Gen asked, taking a sip from his coke.

Suddenly Tanaka's face looked vulnerable. Gen felt his stomach cramping together. It was rare for Tanaka to look this unguarded. Patiently Gen continued drinking his coke.

Tanaka continued talking, a hint of sadness in his voice. "I was remembering the first time I had McDonald's after I…, after I got out of that lab."

Gen got very still. Tanaka almost never talked about those times. Gen tilted his head towards Tanaka. "Yes?"

"You know, when Sato got me out of that horrible place we went to that flat he was staying at the time. The first few days were so weird. I barely comprehended what had happened. Most of the time I just couldn't stop crying. And when I had gotten too exhausted from crying I aimlessly wandered around that flat. It was so weird, suddenly I could move around on my own again in a place that was completely ordinary." Tanaka's eyes had gotten a distant look. He seemed to watch a place beyond the mass of trees Gen could not see. Tanaka sighed and continued: "So, at first I did not much more than crying, yes? At day three or something Sato asked me if I was hungry and if I wanted something specific to eat. The first thing that came to my mind was McDonald's. I wasn't even planning to say it, I just blurted it out. And then when Sato came back that evening he had gotten some. I had already forgotten about his question, but suddenly I was sitting at a normal table, eating normal food together with another person. It was in that moment I truly realized what had happened. That I had really escaped from that place and that I was free again."

Tanaka looked at Gen. "And what do I do next? I start crying again. I just couldn't stop. I remember how I was sitting there, feeling stupid because I just couldn't stop. But then suddenly Sato took my hand and was smiling at me. And then he said that he would make sure that things would be all right again and that I wasn't alone anymore. I don't know from where he took the patience to stand all that crying of me. I was so afraid he would be fed up with me. But instead he never left my side." Tanaka took a long sip form his coke and continued with a flat voice. "And I threat him with my weapon."

Not for the first time Gen asked himself how close exactly Tanaka and Sato had used to be. Gen scratched the scar on his noise, thinking of what to say. "Yeah, look. You realize that had been a mistake. You won't do something like that again. I have the impression Sato knows that too. Things have gotten better between the two of you lately, right?"

Tanaka continued eating his fries. "They've gotten better. He still doesn't want to have me around too much though. He let me stay behind now that he had to go away for a few days, right?"

"About that. I don't think he's doing that because he wants to avoid you. It's really not like that at all."

Tanaka blushed. He averted his gaze, looking out of the side window instead. "What's it about then?"

Gen felt his own face getting red. "So, I think he's just looking for excuses to spend time with Takahashi. Apparently he's constantly going on how their ghosts are a perfect match and stuff. And you know how Takahashi is, he thinks fighting and messing things up is fun. So he's not complaining about it. People get like that when… when… people sometimes get like that."

Reluctantly Tanaka looked in Gen's direction, not quite managing to maintain eye contact. "So, that's the impression you got?"

"Yeah, quite. As far as I can tell", Gen said, taking another sip of his coke. The ice in it had melted long ago since they had arrived here but drinking it felt like a relief anyway. His face was still feeling hot.

"So, that's how it is", Tanaka sighed.

"Right. That's why I'm saying that you should stop worrying about it so much. There's a difference between avoiding someone and having less time for someone because you want to see someone else. See the difference?"

"Yeah. I guess." Tanaka now looked into Gen's eyes for real. Behind them there was still a turmoil of emotions going on but at least they no longer looked depressed. "Isn't it getting annoying to cheer me up all this time?"

"You're not annoying at all. You're not. I like spending time with you."

Tanaka gave Gen a pondering look. Gen anticipated hearing another round of protest but instead Tanaka suddenly smiled at him. Gen felt his breath hitch. He couldn't remember the last time someone had looked at him with that much affection. Tanaka shoved a strand of Gen's bangs aside that had fallen in front of his eyes. "You're a weird one, you know? Thank you."

"No big deal, really. Told you I like spending time with you", Gen mumbled.

Tanaka's hand was still touching Gen's face. He slowly withdrew it, scratching together the last of his fries instead. For a while they continued eating in silence. Outside the sun had disappeared, leaving a cool blue light instead. Around them the birds were singing.

Gen held his last fry and gestured with it at the forest. "It's already getting dark. That's fall for you."

"As if the rain today hadn't been reminder enough."

"Exactly", Gen said, eating his last bit of food. Once he was done he sighed absentmindedly.

"You sound content", Tanaka said, slightly smiling.

"I am. You know, I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I'd started eating."

"So, I take it that my little kitten's happy now?", Tanaka asked, his eyes overflowing with affection once more.

Gen scratched the scar on his nose. That nickname again. "Everything's fine."

"Good. Shall we go home then?"

Once they arrived it was already dark. The engine had stopped since some moments but neither of them was showing signs of leaving the car. They just kept sitting like that, next to each other in the dark of the night.

It was Tanaka who broke the silence. "Gen?"

"Yes?"

"You know, if you don't stop being this nice to me I'm going to fall in love with you", Tanaka said, sounding sad for some reason.

Gen looked at him but couldn't see much in this darkness. "But that all right, really. I don't mind at all."

"You say that now." Tanaka still sounded sad.

Gen huffed in frustration, suddenly running out of ideas of what to say. Instead he reached for Tanaka's hand, holding it tightly. Hesitantly Tanaka steadied his grip on Gen's hand too. "I said it's all right. I'm okay with it", Gen insisted.

Tanaka sighed. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Gen gave Tanaka's hand one last squeeze. "And now let's carry that material inside Okuyama's been waiting for."

"All right, my kitten."

* * *

Gen just couldn't fall asleep that night. The events of the day just wouldn't stop storming through his head. He was still restlessly turning around in bed when the door was quietly opened. It was Takahashi.

Gen leaned on his elbow, sitting slightly up. "Hello there", he whispered.

Takahashi closed the door, looking guilty while he turned on the lights. "Hi. I woke you up, sorry."

"You didn't. I still wasn't asleep."

"Really?"

"Hm."

Takahashi stepped closer and prepared his futon. Though it was the middle of the night he didn't look tired at all. Instead he seemed to be brimming with happiness.

Once the lights were out and they were lying in bed again Gen turned around on his side, facing Takahashi. "How was your trip?"

"Good. We got everything done that needed to be done", Takahashi answered, sounding lively.

"So, we can continue just as planned?"

"Exactly."

"So I take it that you had a busy time getting all that stuff done?", Gen asked.

"Yes, we did. It was fun actually."

"Fun? Huh, that's good."

"It was. And how was your time here while we were away?", Takahashi asked with unveiled curiosity in his voice.

Gen buried himself deeper into the blanket before continuing. "Good. We managed to convince Okuyama to celebrate his birthday after all. I cooked us curry for dinner."

"What, you can cook?"

"Not much. Just a bit. Nothing complicated."

"You make curry and I can't taste it. I'm devastated", Takahashi sighed, sounding disappointed.

"Don't sound so sad. Next time I cook some I make sure you're around."

"For real?"

Gen had to laugh. "For real. And I make some just for you, promise."

"I'm looking forward to it", Takahashi said. After a moment he continued: "So, everything went well between the three of you?"

"Yeah, it did. Why are you asking like that?"

Takahashi suddenly sounded amused. "Because Okuyama sent me something, wait, I'll show you." Takahashi grabbed his phone, searching for something. Having found the mysterious content he laid his phone into Gen's hands and asked: "What's it about that picture?"

Perplexed Gen stared at Takahashi's phone. It showed Tanaka and Gen, fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV, leaning against each other. Gen saw the text Okuyama had attached to it: "The cutest thing just happened!".

Gen felt himself blush. "We just fell asleep while watching a movie." Yeah, and the following day Tanaka was already hoisting Gen atop of counters as if it were the most normal thing in the world. The picture of Tanaka in that revealing long-sleeve flashed before Gen's inner eye and he could feel his mouth getting dry.

Takahashi still sounded amused. "Don't sound so defensive. I'm glad Tanaka stopped bitching at you."

"Well, he did. Some while ago, actually."

Takahashi suddenly sounded serious. "He's so immature. Being mean to someone he likes. How old is he, twelve? That's why I was asking if everything went well while we were away."

"Everything was okay. He was nice to me. No problem."

"Good. Otherwise I make sure he changes his attitude. You deserve to be treated well."

"Told you it was fine. Besides, I didn't even know Okuyama had been taking that pic. You got me surprised there."

"Don't be mad at him. I think he didn't want to interfere so he send it to me."

"I'm not mad." Gen lowered his voice. "It's just, you know. Could you send it to me, please?"

Takahashi chuckled. "Of course. Don't sound so shy. You're enamoured, admit it."

Gen huffed. The day had already been complicated enough. But he really wanted that picture. "Maybe a bit." Gen had to think about something he had just heard earlier. "What did you mean before anyway? Why are you so sure he likes me?"

"Remember that day Tosaki's lapdog was trying to take you away? You and Tanaka were already waiting by the car when we arrived. He was clutching you to himself like a tiger protecting his cub. I think if someone else than us had arrived he would have ripped them apart without a second thought."

"So that's how it had been", Gen sighed. He tried remembering that awful day but he had been so upset that parts of that memory were kind of hazy. The only thing he clearly remembered was how close Tanaka had held him, refusing to let go. There had been bruises the next day. The only bruises Gen had ever received due to another reason than because someone had gotten violent towards him, he suddenly realized.

* * *

The next day Gen made an important realization. The fact that everyone was back also meant that it had become that much harder to find a moment alone with Tanaka. It didn't help that all three obviously realized what was going on, Gen thought, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed. With that picture Okuyama had sent to Takahashi he had revealed that he had noticed something. Since yesterday night Takahashi obviously knew for sure. And well, if Takahashi knew so did Sato, probably.

The thought of getting this much attention made Gen blush.

Some while after dinner Gen had just fetched himself a coke when he ran into Tanaka. Finally they were alone. Not that this gave Gen any more idea of what to do or what to say. But before he had time to think of a solution Tanaka was already gesturing at the book Gen was holding in his other hand. "Is that still the same book?"

Gen showed the cover, weakly smiling. "Yeah. Nearly reached the end though."

"So, does the plot make it clear now why everyone had been lying to the protagonist?"

"Not really. And I'm starting to doubt that a clear answer will ever be given. I have the impression that the book is more interested in showing the psychological struggles that guy is going through than explaining the mystery", Gen said.

Tanaka showed a lopsided smile, slightly raising his eyebrows. "Sounds frustrating."

"Not really. The book is somehow able to pull it off."

"I see."

"Yeah." Gen scratched the scar on his nose. He was already running out of ideas what to say.

Once again Tanaka gestured at the book, suddenly lowering his gaze and avoiding eye contact. He continued in a quiet voice: "So, you're free then? I mean you're not doing anything right now?"

Gen shook his head, suddenly feeling the need to stare at the floor too. "Yes, right. I mean, yeah, I'm not really doing anything right now."

"So, want to hang out together or something? At my place I mean", Tanaka said, gesturing towards the direction of his room.

Gen felt his face blush but there was only one answer he had to give: "Yeah, ok. I mean, I'd like to, sure."

Once they had reached their destination Gen felt so nervous that his ears had begun to ring. It didn't help that the only place to sit on was Tanaka's bed.

Tanaka grabbed the fluffiest pillow in sight and handed it over to Gen. "Here, to lean on. I'm sorry I can't offer you any other place to sit on."

Gen arranged to pillow behind his back, leaning against the wall. "No, everything's fine, really." It really was, everything in Tanaka's room looked so clean and orderly. The pillow Gen was leaning on still smelled of laundry detergent. He suddenly had to remember the slight mess Takahashi seemed to leave wherever he went and had to withhold a smile.

Tanaka sat next to Gen, arranging his own pillow to lean against. "Good, that's good."

Gen raised his eyes. Right in front of them Tanaka's laptop was placed on a table, showing the evening news. "You know, I sometimes think that I should read more newspapers and stuff but all those information coming up in the news is just so depressing", Gen said.

Tanaka chuckled. "Yeah, more or less, you have a point there."

Once the news were over the channel was running a documentary about grizzly bears. The content was not annoying so it just kept on running somehow. Though Gen still felt way too nervous to concentrate on facts about bears he thought as he opened his coke bottle. At least the pictures were nice to look at. Calm. Until the grizzlies were beginning to catch salmon. Not so calm. Tanaka leaned over to the table, reaching for a bottle of tea that was standing there. Suddenly Gen had to laugh.

Tanaka looked at him, eyes wearing a curious expression. "What got you this amused?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking how clever the both of us are to drink caffeine this late."

Tanaka leaned back again, suddenly sitting a lot closer to Gen than before. "No denying this." He smiled at Gen." But tomorrow's not going on much for once so it's not like it matters."

Gen nodded. "Yeah, true." He took another sip from his coke. It really became hard to keep a clear mind with Tanaka sitting this close to him. Feeling bold Gen leaned against Tanaka, letting his head rest on Tanaka's shoulders. After a moment of hesitation Tanaka laid his arm on Gen's shoulder. Gen cuddled closer. He reached for his hair ribbon and tugged at it, letting his hair down. The bears on TV were still catching salmon.

Gen wasn't sure how it exactly happened, but with every passing minute they seemed to come closer to each other. Meanwhile he was halfway lying on top of Tanaka who had now both of his arms wrapped around Gen waist.

Tanaka slightly tensed up and took a deep breath. "Gen? Kitten?"

Gen didn't like how anxious Tanaka had suddenly sounded. In an attempt to calm him down Gen softly nuzzled his head against Tanaka's shoulder. "Yes?"

"Would it be all right if I asked you to give me a kiss?"

Gen felt his breath hitch. He leaned slightly back so he could look Tanaka into the eyes. "You want me to kiss you?"

"Just if you want to", Tanaka said. He wore a wide-eyed look on his face that made him look so afraid that it made Gen's stomach cramp together. He had never seen Tanaka look this vulnerable.

"I'd love to kiss you", Gen blurted out, suddenly just having to state his sentiments. Feeling nervous or not, he couldn't keep silent any longer if it made Tanaka look at him like that. He wrapped his arms around Tanaka's neck in determination, though his ears were already ringing again. Just a moment later their lips were touching.

Tanaka went completely still as if in shock. But then his hand was touching Gens head, bringing them closer together and deepening the kiss. From then on things begun to feel really hazy. They were reluctant to let go of each other, giving each other soft little kisses on the lips instead of completely letting go once they were running out of breath. As soon as they could breathe again they deepened their kisses once again.

The only thought that were clearly appearing in Gen's mind was that he wanted to be close to Tanaka and that he wanted to kiss him. Gen begun to let his hands wander, grabbing whatever part of Tanaka was closest. He just couldn't get enough. Not when Tanaka was finally this close, not when he felt so warm and smelled so good. A part of Gen's mind realized that Tanaka had begun to touch him too. Not only touching, Tanaka was practically groping him. Gen failed in holding back a faint little moan. Cuddling had been nice too. But with those rougher touches it had become impossible to ignore how much Tanaka wanted him.

Things felt so blurry Gen couldn't say how much time had passed like this. But once they stopped kissing Gen was lying on the bed, Tanaka on top of him. They were both gasping for air. Gen was combing his hand through Tanaka's hair that meanwhile looked completely messed up. Tanaka was letting his head rest on Gen's shoulder, cuddling closer. "Finally. I was really wishing for this to happen, you know?", Tanaka said, sounding like he was still short of breath.

"You did?", Gen asked.

Tanaka leaned on his elbows, looking at Gen. "Oh, I did. You don't know what torture it was to see you drinking chocolate milk all the time, drinking from those straws."

Gen felt his face blush. "I didn't do that on purpose or anything, you know?"

Tanaka sighed. "I know you didn't. That's what made it even worse. You don't even realize how cute you are, don't you?"

Gen lowered his gaze. "Cute? I don't know? You think so?"

"Isn't it obvious? Of course I do", Tanaka said, beginning to gently caress Gen's face.

"Thanks", Gen mumbled. He sighed and begun to comb his hands through Tanaka's hair. It really had become completely tousled in the time they had been busy with each other. But it looked good like this. Less severe.

Tanaka laid down on his back and drew Gen on top of himself. He started petting him, his touch completely gentle again. Gen sighed and cuddled closer. This felt nice. Really nice. He felt himself getting drowsy. Unsuccessfully he tried to suppress a yawn.

Tanaka stopped his movements. "Are you tired, my kitten?"

"Maybe a bit."

"It's gotten late", Tanaka said.

"Yeah, guess I should go and brush my teeth or something. Don't really feel like it though. It would require standing up", Gen pondered.

"Same." Gen could feel Tanaka tensing up again. "Hey. Would you like to stay the night here? I mean you could sleep here if you want to."

That suggestion had sounded too wonderful to resist. "I could do that. It certainly makes standing up right now sound more manageable", Gen said.

Gen could feel how Tanaka was relaxing again. "Cool. So, let's go brushing teeth then."

Gen couldn't remember the last time brushing teeth had felt this awkward. It was just impossible to forget what would be following after it.

Once his teeth were clean Gen went to fetch his sleep T-shirt. The thing was way too oversized for him. It was comfortable to sleep in but made him look even frailer than he actually was. As if that was easy to forget, small as he was. And it accentuated how narrow his shoulders were. But Tanaka didn't mind that about him, right? At least he hadn't made that impression when he had hoisted Gen up on that counter. The contrary, he had looked awfully pleased by the fact that he could carry Gen around however he wanted. Gen had to remember with what determination Tanaka had kissed and grabbed him only minutes ago and blushed. No, Tanaka didn't seem to mind at all.

Once they crawled back into bed Gen's ears were already ringing again. But Tanaka didn't leave him much time to ponder. He grabbed Gen around the waist and arranged the blankets over them. At least it felt warm again, that was good.

"Everything okay?", Tanaka asked. From this close Gen could feel Tanaka's voice nearly as much as he could hear it. Something about that felt very reassuring.

Gen tilted his head up, forcing himself to make eye contact. "I'm fine."

Tanaka looked at him with a look of concentration. "Good." He turned off the lights and drew Gen closer to himself. Hesitantly Gen cuddled even closer. Everything felt so fluffy and secure it was almost unbearable.

"I just can't get enough of you, you know?", Gen sighed, drawing his arms around Tanaka.

Tanaka steadied his grip around Gen. "Same." He continued in a quiet voice. "You sound tired."

"Yeah. I'm feeling really sleepy, I guess."

"So all that caffeine had no effect after all", Tanaka said, sounding amused.

Gen smiled. "You're right about that. None at all."

Tanaka started brushing his hand through Gen's hair. It seemed to hold an odd fascination on him now that Gen was wearing it open. But the touch felt good so Gen did not mind. He could feel himself drifting towards sleep already. It was hard not to now that Tanaka finally was this close and everything felt so warm and comfortable. Gen realised that he had never been as deeply in love as he was right now. He wanted to tell Tanaka but only a moment later Gen had already fallen asleep.

**The End**

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_AN: This fic is also cross-posted to ao3. _


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